019 - E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial [1982]

Check out this brown squat of an alien! Check him out, he is from Star Wars country... errr... galaxy... errr something.

 

Anyway, this ALIEN, gets left behind because he doesn't pay attention at best, at worst - his party doesn't like him. So, at the first sign of danger they run and leave him behind. At least we are told its a him - how the heck are we supposed to know, I AM NOT CHECKING.

 

Anyway, the alien hones in on a family... and then the family's boy and grooms him for the inevitable butt probing that will most likely come in the sequel. Along the way he ends up getting in with most of the family as well. SUCKERS, they all will end up in a spaceship with metal up their butts if they aren't careful.

 

The government catches wind of this, and is all like "OH NO, this alien is going to screw this family... That is our job... to screw... the common American family..." never mind. They send the FEDS to steal this squat alien away from children, but the government sucks and can't steal anything even from children without making a HUGE FIASCO over it.

 

Bikes fly, kids get healed by alien voodoo finger magic - or at least a plant does, and we all learn a lesson in the end. Speak and Spells can conjure aliens from outer space.

 

Lee and Joe go over NOTHING but the facts when it comes to this movie. No jokes this time... its all super serious. Check it before an alien probes you and determine if the film still holds up.